| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|11:12 pm] |
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core of my existence. |
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| beyond self |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|03:36 pm] |
just a quick one!
never look back because its a waste of time. look forward and smile, even to cleaners and strangers. even if i did not meet my goal, i know ive put in my best to my circumstances. if i have to regret, it will be things like haven't have enought time to tell how much i love my parents and being such a dumbo of myself. im very proud of my brother. im blessed to have meet wonderful people at work, however much i might have been upsetted by them sometimes.
you know sometimes when i want to play nice, i hesitated because i know ive never been reciprocated with such. but i'll still go with my guts because i can afford to and i want to. its not an everyday chore but it makes me happy to be able to. of course, i will not let myself be taken for granted for. i will bite your head off if you let yourself to.
its OK to be taken for a fool sometimes. its OK to be lonely sometimes. its OK to do other's bidding sometimes. its OK to be in love and out of love the next minute. Because all these are also learning processes. Like Ive said, do not forget yourself and beliefs.
i just want to remind the people i love and myself, begin each day with an open heart and learn to look beyond. you never know when you'll need their help.
I do not spell it out, but I've been waiting patiently. Right here, right now. How wonderful it is to know someone has also been waiting like I do, right there, right now. |
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| peace |
[Oct. 10th, 2009|12:19 am] |
I'm feeling awfully stressed out. Things don't seem to head up initially, but I do believe now the chinese proverb; the boat will be straight when it hit the harbour. Anyway, I had some very good news too from my boss! Told Aida good things come in a pair! So life is not too bad. Sometimes I am thinking, we're all playing around with each others' value. I just hope Lady Luck continues to stay by my side. I see good days ahead.
Right now, even though I feel my peers don't understand me, I have no regrets. To me, they do not know how serious life could be. That no one is going to be there all their lifes. That's how seriously real. Take for example, I am not very careful when Im wearing my brother's watch. Simply because I don't own it.
But everyone's unique. I took a longer route in poly. Now I spend 26K studying for a 22k degree. I so fuckingly maddenly wish I have more time and energy to do this. Thats why I do not understand why I stumbled in the past. 'est la vie.
I'm less guarded around my friends. But I perform well at work. Get what I mean? And when Im at home, haha! I behaved like a 5 yrs old! I guess I'm a chameleon, and I love green!
What? Obama won a Nobel?
Whats up with people in October? Screaming heads off. Me too. I plan to fund-raise for my volunteering trip 2010. Target audience? hehehe. Lady Gaga's Just dance is a life-saver yo!
I remember its 430pm, time to knock off.
me: bye blake!
Blake: peace man.
haha I better keep my mouth shut or I'll end up pissing everyone's off. No excuse, Im sorry if anything. |
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| I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO OWE ONE. |
[Sep. 18th, 2009|12:35 am] |
I wonder how big the hole is the sasha sling going to cost? I can accept fakes for bags, not wallets. fuck the fact that i own a fuck the fake tee.
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| I'll update again. |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|04:45 pm] |
1 Sept
I just feel so unsettled. That kind of feeling where it's so constipated.
3 Sept
I'm just being blank, thinking blank, seeing blank. Blank.
The only distraction is the trip.
OH I AM SUPPOSED TO STOP BEING BLANK BY 3 SEPT ! That explains why.
When infatuation hits, it's ups and downs. I need more distractions! |
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| time check 0515 |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|05:19 am] |
its been ages since i don't feel like sleeping. but i beat you guys to it on saturday morning right. mysoju.com is really bad company, esp when its through the night with me.. koreans are really saddists. they must see me cry then they happy. the point is, they never fail to!
thank god its sunday tomorrow. |
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| need some coffee bean |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|02:54 pm] |
a few things that we can't get used to.. the moments we are so familiar with because we can't get used to. what are we supposed to do with thoes moments? have i ever done anything ridiculous? if so, are there any rules to explain them even in the state of chaos and confusion. i guess i just learn to cope with all the struggles and prioritize the situations. have i ever , ever took revenge on my betrayal, or did i let it fall into the entitiy of chaos? have you ever felt you've said all that you can and you know it in your heart you've lost. i took your word for it, didn't i? i think im crapping a hole here. but i'm begining to understand why you stopped. i didn't mean it, but somehow this silence is the antidote for all of us out there. jy cljy. it will take some while.
cold water dripping down my back. spacing back to when we were done swimming, my mum would always give us our hot milo by the pool. i missed that piece of warmth and happiness. but am looking forward to the days when i can take care of them.
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| ive got a pimple right inside my nose. omygawd. |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|01:22 pm] |
remember i did a post about law >>>
well, im gonna impart you guys a thing or two about our immune system. Helper T cells, B cells, suppressor cells and memory B/T cells. these will provide insight of HIV too! and how we could auto ward off bad-boys. HAHA !
so our immune system is made up of 45 billion red blood cells. they carry haemoglobin which are carriers of oxygen, smth like stimulators of love.. ....and after 3 weeks of procrastination, ive misplaced my thoughts; because you know my exams are over and i'm not in the run for doctorate course. lol. im suddenly engulfed in a lil twige of sadness. what has the world become to!
im so jealous of aida azlin knn. you bring me there soon k! but im so glad you're coming home;)
yea you're a trouble once, but i dunnoe why i keep coming home to you lah!
you're happy when life's fair ; you're bitter when life's unfair >> growing up right?
so 4 pictures >>> goodnight
 
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| gonna crash |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|11:23 pm] |
this pact will follow me through to end April 2009. i will keep my laptop somewhere. i will make space on my tables for lecture notes and stuff. my fav blue pen is still with me. pls pls pls, let me be good. so friends, i'll only , check my mails 9-5pm. CALL ME ! lol asraf, //mambo//
hai, i wanna visit venice and sweden. can i settle for some nearby appetizer soon? make me rich !!
after work, i'll ride my bike. have dinner. maybe do dishes. study. watch tv. study. sleep early.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|10:13 pm] |
i think my mum is the greatest woman. i love her.
i took some really gross pictures on my birthday, with my mask on. sz has to choose that time to get me at my doorstep. i cannot smile, cannot wink, cannot even be touched. HAHAHA thanks okie.
i had a normal day, dressed up abit, thank god except for the "stand-up comedy". its been a great company! so the main thing is about my mum but i dunnoe what else to say about her. right now, the most frustrating item on my mind is am i gonna be brave enough to take another leave to just get a headstart on my impending assignment(s)?? ive taken 2.5 days for this month alone. well ass, its cool to cycle alone okie. blame your own deficient eardrums can. maybe the proteins got to it and flood the 3 tiny bones inside. _I_
Prim&Proper V Out of Bed
 for the first time, i felt sz's lips on my cheek. it is so cooling! ah weng kia, don't sit westle plane come back bomb me k. she caught me off guard too.
fine la, ass you got skill. we look good in the dark. lol
not going out this weekend. just want to complete my work yo.
I might want to do this to Only Friends' Entries next time. so im not disappearing k! |
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| adam and eve |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|02:31 am] |
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" when everything's changing, you don't have to say goodbye"
well, last night sufiyan adam caught me off guard. im reading my book and it all started. and ended with his birthday wish for me. there are hiccups along the conversation which i thought we shld'nt be dabbling into. i dunnoe. since when are guys into the trival dates and stuff? i was on alarm 5, i swear i will not flirt with a married man. but i really enjoyed the time, it passed so lightheartedly! taking away the awkward questions..he told me jvs closed down. CLOSED DOWN??? and replaced by jvc?
he's so easy to chat with, i will say he is a show off. and he replies i'm bragging my english. this is not flirting right? oh guys, he never literally ask me out, but he asked me what am i doing for tomorrow. i thought of his poor wife sleeping. He asked me how many windows am i chatting on. I mean, who will ask this kind of question? an overly concerned bf? i must be over-reacting. and he doesn't seem too willing to talk about his family (wife for that matter). i wanted to congratulate him since i haven't got the chance to do so properly. but he make it seem so hard, i have a feeling im never going to get it over with. why is my love life (past tense)so moppy and draggy?
what does it means when he says u r untouchable. i asked him. he pretends nothing has been said. so i let it go.
it just seems unreal.
so all these months, i felt so restless. i want to be in love. i realised with each passing idle minute, im reaching out for that thought. ive never wished this wish. but could it be time now, already? the problem is, i could so readily, easily, persuade myself out of this. i know me. making up my mind this minute, next minute im rushing out of there. it is so silly, if you could reach inside of my head. and asraf is shouting out loud, for muse!!? you could say his juice is rubbing off on me! hahaha. i'll get over this- trans-adolescence-itory phase, you know me...
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| experiment with my long-forgotten |
[Mar. 11th, 2009|10:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
yas, i am hooked onto cosmetics and brushes recently. i bought a year full of supply. no kidding. dug out my color-box, found some treasures! haha and adding into the kit much to my surprise. i realise what i am doing. talk about impulse shopping. i got home really excited, wanted to imitate the youtube makeup tutorial. i think i failed horrendously- must be because i am single eyelid and i use eyeliner instead of black eyeshadow. the more i stare at myself while prepping every morning, the more im considering surgery. im really bored! but i will still try the other look. the rouge is so sweet and irrisistable! should try a creme rouge in pink!
check her out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXCu1d_e_gM&feature=channel_page
yea, see, i miss my brother. i have to take photos with him. as usual, i am entertaining myself. but i really want to be silly with eric seo! the camera has to be dead at this time. before that, im taking evidence of my failed attempt. so yea, the internet is an evil mechanism. shite i just cannot control myself studiously. f f f . |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2009|10:54 pm] |
oh tracy! i cant wait to meet you. i cannot concentrate on my revision at all. gawd. i regret not taking up the challenge to meet giap. i have indeed missed out on much. are friendships that fragile? shudder-shudder. goodnight my loved ones!
i realise, it doesn't have to be a sunflower to be yellow and green. we're always living in the pursuit. in the end, is it what we've been yearning for? |
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| i am really a lazy bum. |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|08:01 pm] |
so the night begin on a whim. and i lost my five-ten again. must be due to insufficient sleep. MUST BE.
its a really delightful night! begin with my company's dinner again. i regret not having engh food. i was the only one with cam, again. lol skipped over to my girls. and then the next day was annually meet-up at the ecp. my butt, neck hurts. i felt there aren't engh white blood cells in my immune system. lol CLARISSA. I POSTED AS MUCH OF YOU OVER HERE!! I HOPE YOU CAN ACCEPT MY ART. ITS TOO TEDIOUS TO UPLOAD EVERYTHING INTO THE NET. TAKES SOME TIME. like maybe months. hahahahaha
have uploaded half of ecp onto the net. pls wait for the other half ! i tried 3 times to get the vids onto fb but f fruitless. whyyy. meanwhile. i am not gg to be free at all next weekend! test! i will nonetheless, keep you guys in my thoughts;)
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2009|12:32 am] |
recession reduces my ang bao intake. urgh. 2009 is as bad as 2008. but im full of hope! as usual.
i have finished twilight series. left me in a daze for quite few days. i wonder. is there really such a thing on earth?
okie more of the ugliness on facebook.
so many tiny plans on mind. where is the whip to go with them! |
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| so i sing.. i love rock'n'roll ! |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|08:53 am] |
doesn't he look like the scissors-man? he's hawt like anything. i swear this is the 2nd movie im going to purchase ; after a walk to remember which i lost to giap. see the gap in between? i am so attracted to the show OKIE PARTLY BECAUSE OF EDWARD CULLEN. DOES'NT HE LOOK LIKE THE SCISSORS-MAN? im repeating myself. but i know i'm not so shallow, its not a drug to me like victoria secret is to ass . lol
i stepped into office today. my colleague was teasing his boss that work is like a drug. i corrected them on the spot : NO, LOVE IS LIKE A DRUG!
okie back to edward and twilight. remember how i say i like guys with piercing eyes. yes i finally found him. which leads me to love. i want a love that is twisted ; something that is not so easy to come by. i know i am easily contented but isn't this element so crucial in a hard time? certain things i will never force them to be mine but i work it too. i believe in love at first sight. he will be the happiest man on earth. i forgives easily but it will be etched eternally in my brain whoever is good and half-done. as i wrote this, a sudden warmth spread inside me. i am cold all the time and i know there's this laziness all around me. no one else could enter. but don't worry, i know how to wrap up at night. its time to take things a little more seriously now. i love his messy hair - just like mine! my colleague always told me not to sleep over in the office...... i just had no habit of combing my hair okie. which kinda occurs to me: how many tubes of gel will he use in a month?? i hate to touch wax-ed up hair. strangely, i felt like im in love OH GOD! did my puberty start late? HAHAHAHA im reminded of the brad pitt new movie ; curious case of benjamin button. im just being silly, can you tell which is which in this post? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2008|11:18 pm] |
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i need to go gift hunting! this year has ended nicely. i am feeling grateful ; thank you. i told you, i have been good. no time for gloating though. time to do my resolutions again.
a wise ass recites i will do anything for you, but wait indefinitely. and i went definitely. haha
yx, take care of yourself in US pls.
aida, yes the 50 got to you unless.....
jh, i will find time ; seriously!
finally, happy birthday joe!
claudia i met jef n hl too! they got us some useless stuff and food. merry christmas all & stay out of trouble !
i spent the last month of 2008 catching up and chasing after. i missed zo and my friends are mad at me but oh well ; we're used to these. love heals- lol.
guys, im ready for 2009 cos i have many new clothes to wear! hahahahahaha ha.
"your are my sunshine, my only sunshine.... you never know dear, how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away" |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|11:39 pm] |
i love to indulge in visual pleasure. drama serials, movies, old films or even repeated shows you name it. i never am bored of them. as i watched, i get to reflect on myself and also take a trip down memory lanes. its a good way of destressing for me! my friend told me i'm not in his list of trouble. //chuckles//
goodnight everyone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2008|04:54 pm] |
LETS TRY THIS WHEN THE TIME COMES.
christmas is full of joy and of course, expenses!
ideal bf. i love lean boys #1 !!
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|10:29 pm] |
i missed your call, you've got my sms. i need a movie break. ive printed my exam sample questions. ive a plan to get an organiser. xl got my lj's cue- haha. i love you lim-baby. im a wreck. i hope to read. i am kind. i'm chauffered again. im looking at jetasia.com. i.........
my colleague kinda admitted that boys will be boys. boys will never be pious to spouse. c'mon. i seem to hear you say.
so, when can i finally get to see your health report? people around me seem to be lamenting on stress management, oh im so tired. get real, this is life. I BLOODY NEED A BREAK. |
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